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Does the Left Hand Know What the Right is Doing?
There are many things in this world that fascinate me.
Why any given person is on earth at any given time… how a simple substance like water is essential for all life… and how our brains can always “talk” to us, yet at the same time make us feel completely alone.
And one of the most fascinating contradictions of all is the brain’s alarm system — the way it can protect us, warn us, and yet sometimes overwhelm us with fear that doesn’t match the moment we’re actually in.
I guess for some of us, being able to carry on a conversation with ourselves is the equivalent of being the only student in a lecture being given by a very monotone economics professor – Bornig!
But it’s more than that.
It’s a seeming disconnect from one region of the brain to another — creating one of the most intriguing instruments in the universe, only to plug itself into one of the most common human experiences:
Contradiction.
Even though this is obviously a gross oversimplification of what’s happening inside one’s noodle, it still demonstrates what I mean.
As complex and compartmentalized as our brains are, they are equally both aware and unaware at the same time.
That, to me, is one of the most fascinating things about being human.
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We often treat self-care as something we do alone. But our nervous systems were never designed for isolation. This piece explores why genuine connection is foundational to mental wellness — and what we lose when we overlook it.
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The Brain Doesn’t Always Know What Time It Is
From breathing on its own…
To not being able to differentiate between whether a traumatic story is being relived or happening in real time…
It’s phenomenal.
And somewhat ironically, my own brain thinks about this more than I care to admit.
If that weren’t enough, this lump of brain fibers can also be taught — at least in some ways — to become aware of what it currently has no clue about.
That’s where mental health becomes deeply biological, not just emotional.
It’s also a major theme throughout my book Wired to Be Human, where I explore how our ancient brains often struggle to keep up with the modern world.
You can learn more about the book here: Wired to Be Human
The Brain’s Alarm System and the Ancient Threat Detector
When it comes to how we behave and what drives behavior, the brain simply does what it does when any given priority is assigned to it.
Anxiety is a perfect example.
The origins of anxiety come from our ancient threat detection system — the one that helps us go to battle or retreat from danger.
A survival mechanism.
For many today, modern life has activated the brain’s alarm system 24/7.
When you have long-term activation of your threat detection system, you’re stuck in defense mode.
Or in other words:
You’re always scanning for potential danger — real or imaginary.
The brain primes itself for threats.
Essentially, it doesn’t always know the difference.
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When defensiveness becomes the default, conversations stop feeling safe. This piece explores why communication feels so tense today—and what changes when we slow down and listen.
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How CBT Helps the Brain Become More Aware
But with training — through approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy — and with time, we can teach the brain to become more aware of itself.
Or in social terms:
To better understand what’s happening inside of us.
When we start to notice when anxiety steps in and interferes with our lives, we can begin to see something uncomfortable but important:
A lot of what makes us feel trapped is driven by maladaptive internal dialogue.
That dialogue is, in many cases, the very thing preventing people from living a healthier, more productive life.
For some, it has ruined their entire world.
All because one part of the brain had no idea what damage it was doing to another.
Internal Storytelling: When Fear Manufactures a Reality
What happens in the unknown depths of the brain is often an attempt at making sense of things.
Logical versus emotional.
Or logical deciding that an emotional response is warranted…
Even when there’s little evidence that the conclusion is appropriate.
This is where internal storytelling is manufactured:
“If I go do X, Y, Z… something bad might happen.”
X + Y + Z + something bad might happen = avoidance.
Avoidance Is Where People Get Stuck
Avoidance is the juncture where many people get stuck.
And for many, their quality of life suffers deeply because of it.
Often, it’s the only part of the process that the conscious mind is even aware of:
“I need to get out of here.”
“I’m not going in there.”
And so on.
This is where the damage is noted…
But it’s also where healing can begin.
Because if awareness is the first doorway, then this is where challenging the maladaptation becomes possible.
The Coffee Shop Test of Social Anxiety
Most of us know that if we go to our local coffee shop, we are not likely to be harmed in any way.
Yet, many people with social anxiety are too overwhelmed with fear to step foot in it.
That’s the contradiction.
And I believe that being semi-unaware of what’s happening to us is where we experience shame…
Sadness…
Frustration…
And anger with ourselves.
(You may also relate to this reflection: When Defensiveness Becomes the Default.)
And if you’ve ever felt emotionally torn between what you feel and what you think you should feel, you may find this helpful as well:
Sadness vs. Anger — Understanding Emotions
From The Road to Mental Wellness
Name That Emotion
Naming what you feel can lower the chaos and raise clarity. This piece explores why emotions matter—and how learning their language supports mental wellness.
Read the postStopping the Emotional Fire Before It Spreads
But building upon what is available to us — what we are aware of — we can start to interrupt the cycle.
Unhealthy thoughts are like feeding coal into an emotional firebox.
We can stop the thoughts before we stoke the flames.
So, is it you deciding not to go to the dance because it’s easier to avoid?
Or is it a deep-rooted, fear-based response?
Until you work on separating the two, you may never fully know.
The Good News: Progress Is Real
The good news?
You can manage anxiety to a degree where your quality of life improves.
People have varying degrees of success.
But the important thing to remember is this:
Progress — no matter how small — is an extraordinary feat.
Because when it doesn’t always go perfectly, the anxious mind will say:
“See, I knew I’d fail.”
But the real core self is saying:
“I want relief. I want to feel better.”
You only need to choose the voice that echoes what you truly need…
And resist the urge to avoid.
If this resonates, you may also find value in my writing on avoidance here:
I’m rooting for you.
Jonathan Arenburg
Author • Speaker • Trained Counsellor
For media, speaking, podcast and general inquiries
Find more mental health content at: theroadtomentalwellness.com
Join the conversation
If this resonated—or challenged you—I’d genuinely like to hear your perspective. Thoughtful disagreement and lived experience are welcome.
Scroll down to the comments below. Please keep it respectful—this is a space for honest, human conversation.