Join me as I reflect on a rare question from therapy: When was the last time I felt free from anxiety—and what those fleeting moments really mean.
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When Was the Last Time You Felt Free from Anxiety?
During my last therapy session, my therapist asked me a question that caught me completely off guard:
“When was the last time you felt free from your anxiety?”
It stopped me in my tracks. Because when you live with angst for so long, it becomes part of your identity. You get so used to carrying it around that it starts to feel “normal.”
So my answer—perhaps unsurprisingly—was:
“I can’t recall a time when I was 100% free from worry or trauma’s grip.”
But here’s the truth: I wasn’t being completely honest. Not intentionally, not to avoid the topic—but because my brain just fogged over. I couldn’t access what was real in that moment.
In reality, I have felt moments of total reprieve. Even brief flashes of euphoria. Sure, they were short-lived—like a flash in the pan—but they were real.
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Some might ask,
“What happened that allowed you to escape the clutches of mental illness?”
But here’s the thing: there doesn’t always have to be a “moment.”
Sometimes it’s nothing more than a random dopamine surge. Or maybe a truly restful night’s sleep. Maybe even something completely untraceable.
And honestly—does it really matter?
As someone who tends to analyze everything to death, I’ve decided to do something radical for myself:
Just embrace the freedom when it comes.
Stop wondering why, and just feel it.
Now don’t get me wrong—there’s real value in understanding the why behind our better days.
Take a recent conversation I had with a friend. Like so many people today, he’s consumed by anxiety. It speaks louder than anything else in his mind. It directs his thoughts and controls his daily decisions.
Over the years, through countless conversations, I’ve come to realize something:
His anxiety has been the architect of his life.
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Wherever he goes, whatever he does, that same internal script comes with him. And that’s okay. We all bring our pasts with us. But in his case, the anxiety is so loud that it drowns out everything else.
Because our conversations often follow the same pattern, I’ve learned how to listen for what isn’t being said. And I’ve noticed something important:
He talks a lot about what he used to love.
One line stood out to me more than most:
“I used to love going for walks in the woods, but I don’t do that much anymore.”
That was a lightbulb moment.
So I said to him:
“When you go home, don’t worry about what’s broken or not working. Instead, write down a list of the things that have helped you in the past.”
I hope he takes that seriously. Because from that list, he can start building an action plan—something to turn to when anxiety tries to take over.
So often, all we need is a jumping-off point—a way to kickstart a better quality of life.
In my work, I emphasize this often:
For some people, they may never fully “beat” their mental illness.
And that’s not being negative—it’s just the reality for many.
So what’s the answer?
They need to discover and embrace the small wins.
The ones that make life a little easier to bear. A little brighter.
For my friend, one of those wins might be taking a walk in the woods—a simple act that he knows helps quiet his mind.
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So, which matters more:
Knowing why you feel better, or simply feeling better when it happens?
To me, they’re equally important. Because both paths lead to the same destination:
Being present in the moment.
When you’re out walking to reduce stress or ease depression, feel the cool morning breeze as it brushes your face. Listen to the birds. Breathe in the fresh air.
Likewise, when you’re lucky enough to be wrapped in a moment of anxiety-free stillness—stop and notice it.
Give that moment your full attention.
Because when you learn to recognize and appreciate those rare, beautiful breaks from mental illness—no matter how fleeting—they start to silence the noise.
And in that silence, you’ll find healing. Possibility. Even joy.
About the Author
Jonathan Arenburg is a Canadian author, speaker, and trained counsellor exploring how modern life clashes with our biology—shaping anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
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