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If you ever write a book, there are a few things you should be prepared for—especially when it comes to understanding what authors should and shouldn’t do when handling their audience.
There’s the realization that selling books is really hard—like, really hard. Then there’s the relentless marketing that must take place in order to sell any amount and ensure what you’re trying to convey reaches a swath of people who understand and benefit from your message. Look for more on helping others Here
But it’s not all marketing and hoping. It also does some pretty amazing things.
If you write self-help books anyway, you have this rare opportunity — that of being able to help people on an individual level while, at the same time, impacting the lives of many.
The other — and this is my favorite part about being a published author — is the people you meet. Not only do you run into an assortment of great humans, but you also get to hear their unique life journeys. That is one precious gem that money simply cannot buy. Read: Mental Illness Is Not Invisible — Why I Wrote Wired to Be Human
Check Out Jonathan’s Portfolio On His Homepage
The third thing I love most is the wonderful feedback I receive from those who have turned the pages of my work. I am always humbled when I hear that one or more of my books have resonated with readers in such a way that they take up a tiny bit of real estate in their minds.
Such an honor.
With all that said, one can torpedo their work in an instant if they don’t handle their audience the right way.
Many people think dealing with those who admire their work comes easily, but this is simply not the case. So in this article, I want to offer what authors should and shouldn’t do when handling their audience.
Books by Jonathan Arenburg
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1. Know Your Audience
Whether you write Harry Potter–style novels or The Fisherman’s Guide to Catching the Biggest Fish, you need to know the type of people you’re naturally going to attract.
In my case, as a mental health writer, I need to keep in mind that many who gravitate toward my work may be vulnerable or in one stage or another of their healing journey.
This is not the kind of audience you rush. It is not the kind of audience you are short with.
Many of them — especially those just trying to get a feel for what’s wrong — may not have a supportive social network, if they have one at all. Therefore, they are going to want to tell you their story — and you better be ready to listen.
Not to respond.
Not looking for an angle to sell them your books.
But to actively listen.
In today’s world, there are so many people who feel like they aren’t being listened to that they are longing to “just be heard.” So listen with compassion and let them be heard. That kind of presence — slowing down enough to truly see the person in front of you — is something I’ve written about more personally in Making Your World Smaller. It isn’t complicated, but it is rare.
It will help them. And if they buy your work, they can visualize the person behind the meaning. Line by line, they begin to associate you — the writer — with the essence of the book.
In my view, there is nothing more important for a book to gain a strong reputation than authenticity.
2. Know What You’re Talking About
Obviously, being an expert in the very subjects you write about will be of tremendous benefit to you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t put the work in to act as a conduit that bridges the gap between expert and audience. All you have to do is research your subject to ensure it aligns with what you’re saying.
That said, research may not be necessary if you’re writing your own life’s story. However, even if it is a work of fiction, the realistic elements need to be accurate.
Say you’re writing a novel that adds your own spin to a historical event in Paris in 1940, for instance. You will want to understand and articulate the mood, the styling of the era, and the setting of the time. Even if it’s a book about the French winning the war against Germany, it will flop if you don’t work to add the ambiance of that particular moment in history.
Readers can forgive creativity. They struggle to forgive carelessness.
That responsibility toward accuracy is something I explore more deeply in Wired to Be Human — how ideas and context shape the way we understand ourselves and the world around us.
The Road to Mental Wellness Book
The Road to Mental Wellness is Jonathan Arenburg’s honest, practical…
Learn More 3. Respect the Responsibility That Comes With Influence
Once your words are published, they no longer belong only to you.
They sit with someone at 2 a.m.
They echo during difficult conversations.
They shape how someone interprets their own experiences.
That carries weight.
One of the core responsibilities of authors is recognizing that influence. Especially in the self-help space, readers may interpret your words as guidance.
Do not diagnose strangers.
Do not exaggerate your credentials.
Do not present personal interpretation as universal truth.
Humility builds trust. Inflation destroys it.
Influence is not about dominance. It is about stewardship.
4. Never Exploit Vulnerability
When someone opens up to you, they are offering something fragile.
Sometimes it’s trauma.
Sometimes it’s shame.
Sometimes it’s confusion they’ve never spoken aloud.
That is not a marketing opportunity.
Do not screenshot private messages for content. Do not stretch testimonials. Do not pressure someone into buying more because they “clearly need it.”
Short-term attention gained that way erodes long-term author credibility.
Readers remember how you made them feel far longer than they remember your phrasing.
5. Don’t Confuse Visibility With Value
There will be days when your posts get little traction. When your rankings dip. When someone with less experience but more noise gets more attention.
That is the reality of publishing.
Chasing trends at the expense of integrity is one of the most common author marketing mistakes.
Your goal is not to go viral.
Your goal is to remain durable.
Authenticity is slower, but it is sturdier.
6. Learn to Take Criticism Without Losing Yourself
If you publish long enough, someone will misunderstand you. Someone will disagree. Someone may even attack you.
Separate constructive feedback from emotional projection.
If someone points out an error, correct it. Growth requires humility. Accountability is not weakness — it’s maturity, something I first wrestled with publicly in The Road to Mental Wellness.
But do not contort yourself trying to please everyone. That road leads to diluted writing and internal exhaustion.
Listen carefully.
Decide deliberately.
Stand steadily.
Ch 7 From Wired To Be Human:The Friendship Recession: Why We’re Lonelier Than Ever
Prefer to listen? Wired to Be Human is available in audiobook format. Listen here → Explore the book The friendship recession is reshaping how we live, connect, and cope in the modern world. In this featured chapter from Wired to Be Human, Jonathan Arenburg explores why loneliness is rising despite constant digital connection — and…
Read More 7. Set Boundaries Around Access
The internet creates the illusion that you are available at all times.
You are not.
If you respond to every message instantly and engage every debate, you will burn out. And burnout quietly erodes creativity.
Boundaries are not cold. They are sustainable.
Readers benefit most from writers who are steady — not depleted.
8. Remember Why You Started
The marketing. The metrics. The comparisons. They can slowly replace the reason you began writing.
For many of us, it started because silence felt heavier than vulnerability.
When the numbers fluctuate, return to that mission.
When doubt creeps in, remember the one reader who said your words mattered.
When you feel invisible, write anyway.
Writing and audience trust are inseparable.
The Ending Most Authors Don’t Talk About
Writing a book is hard. Selling it is harder. Sustaining integrity while doing both is harder still.
But if you handle your audience with respect, your influence with humility, and your work with care, something powerful happens.
You build trust.
And trust — not algorithms — is what gives a book its staying power.
Handle people well.
Guard your credibility.
Protect your voice.
Do that, and even when the road is steep, the work will remain meaningful.
I’m rooting for you,
Jonathan
About the Author
Jonathan Arenburg is a Canadian author, speaker, and trained counsellor exploring how modern life clashes with our biology—shaping anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
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