Explore why self-interest often overrides empathy in everyday choices, and what it reveals about human nature, behavior, and the way we justify priorities.
Follow Jonathan and The Road To Mental Wellness
Share this with someone who needs it
What Makes Us Tick? Does it Matter?
Let’s start with a simple question: What do you makes humans tick?
If you answered “yes” to that question, here’s a follow-up: How do you know you actually understand human behavior? Most of us, when asked something like this, draw from our own perspective and experience. But how reliable is that when trying to answer bigger questions like: What makes us push our own agendas? Why do we seek control over others? What makes us vulnerable to addiction? Read: Understanding the Brain’s Tendency to Self-Medicate in Response to Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD
My take? Most of us don’t know nearly enough about the psychological or biological forces driving human behavior. And for most of us, it’s not even something we think about. But maybe it should be. Or should we just keep cruising through life, acting like the world only matters when it directly affects us?
Internalizing experience is part of how individuals survive. It’s why we’re told to “look out for number one.” It’s also one of nature’s biggest contradictions.
On one hand, individualism has helped us survive. On the other, we wouldn’t last without the group.
In my view, the individual’s drive to survive is often stronger than the collective’s, especially when it comes to reproduction. In other words, nature seems to rank reproduction above all else. Could this be why we’re so driven to be self-focused?
I don’t have the answer—but asking these questions proves a point: do we think about ourselves too much?
Take traffic, for example. Most of us cooperate to make the roads work smoothly. But why? (Pun intended.)
It comes down to self-interest. We want to avoid accidents. And here’s how I think most people would rank their reasons:
Books by Jonathan Arenburg
- I don’t want to get hurt.
- It costs too much to get into an accident.
- Dealing with insurance companies is a nightmare.
- I might hurt someone if I don’t follow the rules.
Notice the problem?
If you thought, “Wait, number four should be at the top,” then we’re on the same page.
The issue is that harming someone else should obviously be the primary concern—not an afterthought. And yet, many people would argue any of these reasons could be number one. Are they wrong? Am I?
If you believe that everyone’s opinion is their truth, then sure, I’m wrong. But there is such a thing as a right answer—especially when we’re dealing with real-life consequences.
Saying “I prefer golf over basketball” is an opinion. You like swinging clubs more than shooting hoops. That’s valid. It’s your preference. But it’s not a universal truth.
Truth requires context. So if I ask: “Should human life always be considered above all else?”—most people will say, “Yes, of course.” Even if they initially placed “I might hurt someone” at the bottom of their traffic list, they’d admit that avoiding harm to others should come first.
Why? Because it’s the right answer. We know it instinctively.
Sure, you can make a case for “I don’t want to get hurt.” But imagine the pain of seriously injuring someone else. Most people would be devastated.
So, yes—“I might hurt someone” belongs in the number one spot. “I don’t want to get hurt” becomes number two. The other reasons—money and insurance—are still real, but their ranking is subjective. They’re less important in the bigger picture.
So where does this leave us?
It shows that what drives us—our personal needs, feelings, and facts—are often tangled. And sometimes, we confuse how we feel about something with what’s true.
In this example, prioritizing human life over personal inconvenience helped us separate opinion from truth. We used logic to put our values in order—and in doing so, we learned a bit more about what makes people tick.
What Do *You* Think?
Join the conversation below — leave a comment, share your thoughts, or spread the word if this made you think.
